Long Distance Relationships And How To Make Them Work
Does distance make hearts grow fonder in a relationship—or fonder of someone else? There are undoubtedly more obstacles to overcome when there has been a separation, but many couples have done it successfully, and others can too. Here are 10 suggestions for building and sustaining a strong bond even when you are separated by great distances and extended periods of time.
- Discuss together the level of commitment to each other and to the relationship.
- While you are away, have in-depth conversations about what you expect from each other and yourself in this relationship. Some couples haven't spoken openly about their differences so they mistakenly think they are at the same place when, in reality, they are in different places.
- Make no assumptions. Talk about everything.
- Will you be monogamous both when you are together and apart?
- How will you respond to other people's appeals?
- How will you cope with being alone?
- What about private time spent with your heterosexual coworkers?
2. Trust each other
When you are apart, it is simple to let your thoughts wander. Do not let envious comments ruin your connection. Find strategies to relax your mind. When you are in a good place and are aware that these relationships are challenging for most individuals, you can discuss any worries you may have.
3. Communication should be constant
When feasible, schedule time at the end of each day to meet up with one another. Every day, set aside at least 30 minutes at the end of the day to catch up on each other's lives. As you learn more about your spouse and what he or she is going through every day, expand on your "love map."
4. Take advantage of technology
Just to let your spouse know that you are thinking about him or her, send a text during the day. When you can, use Skype to video chat and see each other. Post images of times you all shared if you are on Facebook so that you can remember them and renew your commitment to those in your worlds.
5. Schedule your time together physically
Intimacy and connection require as much time spent together as possible. Clearly, for some couples, this may be impossible. While it is common for military families to be apart for extended periods of time, try to make it a priority whenever you can to spend as much time as you can together in person. Make sure to use that time as constructively as you can. Instead of dwelling on how difficult it is, focus on creating memories for the future.
6. Follow shared interests
Even if you don't always do them together, pursue your shared hobbies. Find activities that you can undertake together and are interested in discussing while you are apart and that you can share with each other. Learn to play golf, take bridge classes, start a running regimen, and compete against one other.
7. Set your future goals together.
Make plans for weekends, holidays, and vacations. If you're engaged or married, discuss your future as a couple as well as your personal ambitions. Plan when you will be together in the future (singles should be careful not to pressure someone into a commitment.)
8. Honesty is still the best policy
In order to avoid making your partner feel guilty about the separation, be open and honest about your troubles with being away. Make sure that doesn't even cover a small portion of your discussions with one another. You shouldn't be reluctant to express your worries and difficulties related to being separated. Recognize your thoughts and emotions (kind of like "the elephant in the living room"). You two might be able to see it as another way to express your love for one another or as a challenge to come up with solutions to problems. You don't want this to dominate any conversations you have with the person you love, unless there is a way to change it.
9. Be positive towards each other. Keep the good vibes going on
There are five good things about healthy partnerships for every bad thing. Look for methods to add to the formula.
10. Keep the good vibes going on even when apart
Do not put off enjoying life till you are together. People are not always content in relationships. People genuinely delight themselves. Being with happier individuals is more enjoyable. Find ways to enjoy life and make yourself happy so that you may connect with others or be with them with positive energy.
